Small things really do matter
Harry (right) with big brother Teddy
Harry’s story began much earlier than we ever imagined.
At just 26 week's’ pregnant, our world changed completely when Harry decided he was ready to make his entrance. He was born weighing just 1lb 12oz (794g).
Instead of the birth we had imagined, we were suddenly parents to an extremely premature baby fighting his way through his first days of life. Harry was taken straight to the NICU, where he spent the next 3.5 months – 108 days.
Within the first few days, we were told that Harry had suffered a Grade 4 brain bleed. We had no idea what this meant for him, for us, or for our future.
Learning fast
We learnt a language we never knew existed. We learnt about machines, monitors, oxygen, feeding tubes and numbers that we were constantly watching. We learnt to celebrate things that other parents might take for granted — a little more milk, a stable day, a good blood gas, a few extra grams on the scales.
We also had our 4-year-old, Teddy, at home.
Pulled in two directions
My heart was constantly split in two. I desperately wanted to be with Harry, to sit beside his incubator, hold his hand and be there for every single thing that happened. But I was also a mum to Teddy, who needed me at home.
I don’t think you can ever properly prepare yourself for the feeling of being pulled in two directions, or the guilt of feeling like you’re failing as a mother when, in reality, you’re doing everything you possibly can for both of your children.
While Harry was fighting in NICU, life at home still had to carry on. We were living two completely different lives at once — one in the hospital, surrounded by machines and monitors, and one at home, trying to keep things as normal as possible for Teddy.
Worries and fears
The tiny 1lb 12oz baby who spent the first 108 days of his life surrounded by machines is now growing, learning, laughing and making his own little mark on the world.
The first few years were rough. We’ve had many doctors’ and hospital appointments, more worries than we ever imagined, and definitely not very many good nights’ sleep.
For me, the experience of having a baby so poorly and not knowing whether he would be okay has stayed with me. I was later diagnosed with PTSD, and although I have learnt to live with it, those memories and the fear of those early days never completely disappear.
But when I look at Harry now, I see how incredibly far he has come. I see the tiny baby who fought through NICU and is thriving each and every day.
Harry is now starting school, making friends and taking on new challenges.
Our journey hasn’t been easy, and there are still challenges ahead, but Harry has taught us to appreciate things in a completely different way. Sometimes the things that once seemed so ordinary are the things we are most grateful for now — having him home, watching him grow, hearing him laugh and simply getting to see him be Harry.
And I think that is what his story has taught us most of all: small things really do matter.
Thanks to Amber for sharing Harry’s story.