World Prematurity Month 2023: Why I’m proud to work for an Employer with Heart
Even now, four years on, it’s sometimes difficult to comprehend that this is my story…
I was 23 weeks’ pregnant, having just had my 20 week scan and travelled to the USA for a five-day minibreak, when I was taken ill from the plane on my return journey home. I was admitted to hospital in Boston, Massachusetts at 23 weeks and 5 days’ pregnant where the palliative care team explained what might happen if I was to give birth then, four months earlier than my due date.
Emotional rollercoaster
After 16 long days in hospital on an emotional rollercoaster of false alarms and instability, my son Alfie was born very suddenly and traumatically at 26 weeks’ gestation, weighing just 2lb 2oz (1.01kg). Alfie was face-presented and severely bruised to the point that it was difficult to see any of his facial features. He suffered a very serious bleed on his brain and we spent an agonising 72 hours waiting to understand if he would be permanently brain damaged.
After giving birth, I had to wait five hours before I was even able to see Alfie and was then returned to a hospital room on my own, unable to be with my newborn baby while the doctors tried to stabilise him. On Day 3 of Alfie’s life, I was able to hold him for the first time, but this was for less than 10 minutes as he was unable to keep his temperature where his skin hadn’t fully formed yet.
Most of my contact with him for the first few months was at three-hour intervals through the portholes of the incubator. He spent 50 days on oxygen and 88 nights in NICU where all I had was a teddy from his incubator to take home to bed with me each night.
Physical and emotional trauma
It’s impossible to describe the physical and emotional trauma I endured, but even harder to comprehend that for so many parents it’s how they spend their precious maternity/paternity leave.
My employer supported me hugely and gave me an additional three months’ leave at full pay to reflect the time between Alfie’s due date and his premature birth. Without it, I would have been forced to leave my job as Alfie was not ready for a normal childcare setting at 6 months old (3 months corrected age).
Even with the additional time off, a large part of my maternity leave was spent attending medical appointments, trips back to A&E and regular physical therapy following Alfie’s brain bleed. I also underwent six months of trauma therapy throughout my maternity leave to help process everything that I’d been through.
I wanted my organisation to become a Smallest Things Employer with Heart because 1 in 12 babies are born premature and there are parents suffering like I did every single day, but who also have the worry of their job and financial security to deal with on top of what is already an incomprehensible situation.
Making a change
At work I am part of the Gender workstream, supporting inclusivity and diversity in our workplace, and as part of that I put forward a case to develop a premature baby policy. With the support of an amazing group of volunteers and an incredible HR team, we developed a full policy and manager guide to launch to the business.
In my role as a trustee of The Smallest Things, we created ready-made presentations, packs and templates for employers wanting to implement the updated version of the charter, Employer with Heart 2.0, supporting parents and partners with equal additional leave for the period their baby was born premature. This was a great test to ensure the packs were fit for purpose for organisations to use.
How can you become an Employer with heart?
Go to our Employer with Heart page where you can download a full pack with everything you need. You can also reach me and the team by emailing hello@thesmallestthings.org and we’ll help in any way we can to support you in making a positive change for families of premature babies.
It’s hard to put into words what my organisation becoming an Employer with Heart means to me. To have led this change in developing and launching a policy and knowing what a difference it will make to families of premature babies in their time of need is without doubt the proudest moment of my career.
With thanks to Kerry Myles for sharing Alfie’s story.