NICU neighbours: How shared experience became a lifeline for Blackpool parents

The NICU Parents of Blackpool Victoria Hospital group is built on the reassurance of “I’ve been there”

As a mother to three premature babies, words that should have been unfamiliar became part of my daily vocabulary, and I found myself submerged in a world of “gasses”, “apneas”, “desats”, “NG feeds”, “aspirating” and “CPAP”.

Back in 2019, I had dipped a toe into the NICU world with my eldest daughter Melissa’s week-long stay in the neonatal unit. Little did I know that five years later I would spend a gruelling four weeks in Blackpool’s neonatal unit with my youngest daughter, Zoe, who was born poorly at 34 weeks’ gestation.

Melissa (35 weeks) holding her baby sister Zoe (34 weeks)

People who understand

In time, Zoe’s immediate inpatient care came to an end, yet I recognised a lack of ongoing emotional support for parents, and this led me to develop the support group, NICU Parents of Blackpool Victoria Hospital.

During Zoe’s NICU stay in July 2024, I had become a shadow of myself, overwhelmed by mum guilt, fear, and isolation. Despite a supportive partner, kind staff, and Zoe’s incredible strength, the days felt long, and the nights echoed with loneliness.

Yet our experience was made easier by the family opposite us — our “NICU neighbours”. What began as brief hellos soon turned into shared worries and small moments of hope. Before long, their eldest daughter was playing with ours in the NICU playroom while we talked about Zoe’s impressive hair and laughed as their son’s feet occasionally popped up in his incubator.

It was this friendship that inspired me to create a simple Facebook group where current and past NICU parents could safely ask questions, share worries, and mark those small victories with people who truly understood. I had realised that many families felt alone once they left the unit, and although I had no expectation of how much it would grow, the group quickly began to flourish.

Local and personal

Although UK-wide support groups exist, NICU Parents of Blackpool Victoria Hospital offers something more local and personal — a smaller, home-from-home community built on the reassurance of “I’ve been there.” The group grew steadily, with parents sharing experiences and supporting one another around feeding, oxygen needs, developmental concerns, appointments, maternal wellbeing, and returning to work. Over time, we built links with local services and charities, including a counselling service that allows direct referrals. These small but meaningful connections have made a significant difference to the wellbeing of our members.

.Fresh air and friends: walking along the prom with “people who get it” is one way the group supports each other

As the online community strengthened, we began meeting in person — including a meet-up at a local baby class venue and a walk along the promenade. Ajay, mum to her 32-weeker son, shared that she “really enjoyed the prom walk and got some great support via the group when I really needed it last year. It was a scary time, and it was so reassuring hearing from people who get it.” Another member, Emma, reflected on her NICU experience in 2020: “This is amazing. I wish this support was around when I had my little girl. I felt so alone.”

While hearing this is always bittersweet, it reinforces why the group exists and motivates me to continue strengthening it.

Growing bigger together

Ajay with Rory, Holly with Arya and Jem with Ember

We are now growing beyond Facebook, offering peer support at the neonatal clinic fortnightly and working closely with Blackpool’s neonatal staff. We are also drawing on the expertise of national charities such as The Smallest Things, while raising local awareness through initiatives like the Prem Aware Award with schools.

The group continues to evolve, and we are exploring the development of a Community Interest Company (CIC) to help sustain and expand support for families.

Neonatal journeys are often frightening and isolating. Every parent deserves to feel understood, and peer support can be life-changing.

My hope is that NICU Parents of Blackpool Victoria Hospital continues to ensure that no parent leaves the neonatal unit feeling unsupported, unheard, or alone in their journey.

Thanks to Alicia for sharing the NICU Parents of Blackpool Victoria Hospital’s story.